The Horrifying Truth About Nursery Rhymes
Have you ever listened to nursery rhymes? I mean really listened? They're awful. Terrible! We've got cradles falling out of trees, a gourd-obsessed husband who can't afford to feed his wife, and a woman with no access to birth control who is forced to suffer the indignity of living in footwear. It probably wasn't even nice footwear -- like cheap knock-off Uggs you'd buy at PayLess that start to smell like cottage cheese.
I don't know why these negative nursery rhymes are still a staple of parenthood, but I do know some of them are rooted in truth. London Bridge, for example, really did fall down. Or almost. The original bridge across the river Thames, built in 1176, was damaged by two major fires: one in 1663 and another in 1666. It survived, but needed constant repairs (thus the verse "build it up with wood and clay") until it was finally replaced a couple hundred years later.
Research shows the chances of those who have seen both London and France also seeing your underpants are relatively remote, however.
Another macabre yet truthful nursery rhyme is Ring Around the Rosey, which some say ties to the plague that ravaged England in the 1600s. A rosy red rash was a symptom of the deadly illness, posies (small bouquets) were often carried to ward off disease and the smell of death, and ashes may refer to the cremation of those who succumbed. As in, 15% of the population of London.
In other news, London was a really bad place to live during the Enlightenment.
Curious about what other children's prose could be linked to historic events, I did some digging. It turns out there are other nursery rhymes which are also based on true events*.
It's Raining, It's Pouring, It's Patricide
The perky, well-known diddy It's Raining, It's Pouring has many variations, but they all recount the tragic story of Jonathan Wentworth III, who was the only heir to a lucrative marble factory in England. Jonathan was an impatient, greedy young man who couldn't stand the thought of waiting decades for his inheritance. One stormy night while his "old man" father was sleeping one off, he crept into his bed chambers and bonked the businessman's head on his own bed's footboard. Because of the blunt force trauma, the senior Wentworth developed a brain hemorrhage and died before morning. The younger Wentworth broke down during questioning by the Bobbies, and was ultimately convicted of murder. This nursery rhyme isn't his only contribution to history, however. The young man's inheritance was forfeited and he slowly went insane in prison, also giving rise to the term "he lost his marbles."
Peek-A-Boo, ICU
The backstory of Peek-a-Boo is equally haunting. It actually originated in Revolution Era France, where a man named Pete A. Boux enjoyed some late-night sneak peeks through his neighbors' windows. Spotted often in gardens and behind shrubbery, this Peeping Tom -- er, Peeping Pete -- was publicly identified in the daily papers, yet managed to elude police for years. Finally, he picked the wrong woman to spy on. Marguerite LaNu was changing into her dressing gown one summer evening when she heard a sound at her window, and turned to find a lecherous gaze landing upon her. She let out a blood-curdling scream, which alerted her husband -- who happened to be the town butcher, sporting biceps like racks of lamb. Upon finding the man standing at his wife's window, Pierre LaNu beat Pete A. Boux so badly that he was transported by carriage to the local hospital intensive care unit, or ICU, with massive injuries. Mr. LaNue was cleared of all charges as he was defending his wife's honor, and Peek-a-Boo, ICU remains a cautionary tale to this day.
Next time, think twice about reading what you think are innocent nursery rhymes to your children, because they're not always what they seem. In fact, they aren't fit for children at all.
*Stories listed above that contain the letters I, O, or T are completely fabricated, except for the ones about the bridge and the plague. Those are true, mostly. The rest were made up by a writer with both a toddler and an overactive imagination.
I don't know why these negative nursery rhymes are still a staple of parenthood, but I do know some of them are rooted in truth. London Bridge, for example, really did fall down. Or almost. The original bridge across the river Thames, built in 1176, was damaged by two major fires: one in 1663 and another in 1666. It survived, but needed constant repairs (thus the verse "build it up with wood and clay") until it was finally replaced a couple hundred years later.
Research shows the chances of those who have seen both London and France also seeing your underpants are relatively remote, however.
Another macabre yet truthful nursery rhyme is Ring Around the Rosey, which some say ties to the plague that ravaged England in the 1600s. A rosy red rash was a symptom of the deadly illness, posies (small bouquets) were often carried to ward off disease and the smell of death, and ashes may refer to the cremation of those who succumbed. As in, 15% of the population of London.
In other news, London was a really bad place to live during the Enlightenment.
 |
| Mother Goose disapproves of your innocent interpretations. |
Curious about what other children's prose could be linked to historic events, I did some digging. It turns out there are other nursery rhymes which are also based on true events*.
It's Raining, It's Pouring, It's Patricide
The perky, well-known diddy It's Raining, It's Pouring has many variations, but they all recount the tragic story of Jonathan Wentworth III, who was the only heir to a lucrative marble factory in England. Jonathan was an impatient, greedy young man who couldn't stand the thought of waiting decades for his inheritance. One stormy night while his "old man" father was sleeping one off, he crept into his bed chambers and bonked the businessman's head on his own bed's footboard. Because of the blunt force trauma, the senior Wentworth developed a brain hemorrhage and died before morning. The younger Wentworth broke down during questioning by the Bobbies, and was ultimately convicted of murder. This nursery rhyme isn't his only contribution to history, however. The young man's inheritance was forfeited and he slowly went insane in prison, also giving rise to the term "he lost his marbles."
Peek-A-Boo, ICU
The backstory of Peek-a-Boo is equally haunting. It actually originated in Revolution Era France, where a man named Pete A. Boux enjoyed some late-night sneak peeks through his neighbors' windows. Spotted often in gardens and behind shrubbery, this Peeping Tom -- er, Peeping Pete -- was publicly identified in the daily papers, yet managed to elude police for years. Finally, he picked the wrong woman to spy on. Marguerite LaNu was changing into her dressing gown one summer evening when she heard a sound at her window, and turned to find a lecherous gaze landing upon her. She let out a blood-curdling scream, which alerted her husband -- who happened to be the town butcher, sporting biceps like racks of lamb. Upon finding the man standing at his wife's window, Pierre LaNu beat Pete A. Boux so badly that he was transported by carriage to the local hospital intensive care unit, or ICU, with massive injuries. Mr. LaNue was cleared of all charges as he was defending his wife's honor, and Peek-a-Boo, ICU remains a cautionary tale to this day.
Next time, think twice about reading what you think are innocent nursery rhymes to your children, because they're not always what they seem. In fact, they aren't fit for children at all.
*Stories listed above that contain the letters I, O, or T are completely fabricated, except for the ones about the bridge and the plague. Those are true, mostly. The rest were made up by a writer with both a toddler and an overactive imagination.
Comments
Post a Comment