T.O.W.F.U.E. Part 2
The more I thought about it, the more I felt that this post needed a follow up. See, I had intended to finish it with some gloriously introspective bit about how forgiving yourself is so important, and how it all happens for a reason. Except I haven't forgiven myself, and I generally don't think everything happens for a reason. (And I didn't have any profound revelations during the kid's nap time while I wrote it.)
Regarding the former, I took to google and was pleased and confused to find a Wikihow entry on how to forgive yourself. Whether you're trying to hang a picture or seeking self-help to soothe the soul, Wikihow is there for you! This one came with a particularly helpful clip-art drawing of a blissful woman hugging a heart-shaped pillow bearing the word "ME." If only I could get my resentful little hands on one of those pillows, I'd be THIS MUCH closer to figuring out how to let it go.
About the latter, however, I have good news. In my case, T.O.W.F.U.E. had a purpose. He led to T.O. -- The One.
In the fall of 2005, after the first several times T.O.W.F.U.E. had broken up with me but before he moved away and ended it for good via a message to my work email, I received an invitation to my cousin's wedding in Ohio. Since we were involved in something that some days almost resembled a relationship, I asked him to be my plus one. He refused flatly, saying it wasn't his responsibility to "run interference" between my dad and myself. The bad news is he was an asshole, through and through. The good news is I went to that wedding alone and spent most of the reception chatting and laughing with the man who would become my husband. If T.O.W.F.U.E. and I had stayed together for even a bit longer, I would have missed my best chance at happily ever after.
So, if I do run into T.O.W.F.U.E in Minneapolis this month, maybe I owe him a thank you. For being the jerk who f-ed up one thing, but started everything else.
Regarding the former, I took to google and was pleased and confused to find a Wikihow entry on how to forgive yourself. Whether you're trying to hang a picture or seeking self-help to soothe the soul, Wikihow is there for you! This one came with a particularly helpful clip-art drawing of a blissful woman hugging a heart-shaped pillow bearing the word "ME." If only I could get my resentful little hands on one of those pillows, I'd be THIS MUCH closer to figuring out how to let it go.
About the latter, however, I have good news. In my case, T.O.W.F.U.E. had a purpose. He led to T.O. -- The One.
In the fall of 2005, after the first several times T.O.W.F.U.E. had broken up with me but before he moved away and ended it for good via a message to my work email, I received an invitation to my cousin's wedding in Ohio. Since we were involved in something that some days almost resembled a relationship, I asked him to be my plus one. He refused flatly, saying it wasn't his responsibility to "run interference" between my dad and myself. The bad news is he was an asshole, through and through. The good news is I went to that wedding alone and spent most of the reception chatting and laughing with the man who would become my husband. If T.O.W.F.U.E. and I had stayed together for even a bit longer, I would have missed my best chance at happily ever after.
So, if I do run into T.O.W.F.U.E in Minneapolis this month, maybe I owe him a thank you. For being the jerk who f-ed up one thing, but started everything else.
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