My dear, sweet child to whom I gave life, I love you more than all the stars in the sky. Even more than all the dog hair on my carpet. But if you do not lie down and take a nap , I will come up there and knock you out myself . After all, sweet precious child, sleep is very important. It's like rain is to flowers: nourishing, tranquil, refreshing. You need sleep because you are a growing, learning, busy little boy. And because without a daily nap, you morph into a whiny, demanding asshole for the remainder of the day. I simply cannot handle that today , or any day, ever. It makes me want to snuff out that spark of life I planted in you with a loving karate-chop to your vagus nerve. Let me remind you, love of my heart. Relay races from one side of your crib to the other is not napping. Taking off all of your clothes -- AND YOUR DIAPER -- not napping. Throwing your lovey up in the air just to watch it fall and cackling maniacally, also not napping. Rolling on your back maki...